Mickey Goes Sailing

Mickey and Allison came to visit over Labor Day Weekend. It was a short 2-day visit and one of the things we all wanted to do was some sailing. Knowing that Mickey is used to the safe and solid surroundings of his downtown Austin loft I didn't want venture out into the Sound where situations can become unpredictable fast. Lake Union is a great place for an easy, casual sail right in the middle of the city. However, the opportunity to catch Dungeness Crab was too tempting for Mickey and so to sea we went. As we sat in the locks Mickey told us of how his father, Salty Papy, had a long history of seamanship. And so with my sailing gloves on he relayed old family stories and recited vocabulary he thought he knew about the sailboat, "Hoist the jibe spinnaker!" It was all laughs and bullshitting until we got out of the protected channel and found it to be the windiest day I've ever sailed.

The first chore was to rig the crab traps on the bow. It was a challenge just to hold on. I think Mickey was still having fun as he tossed them to see. $700 a year in designer protein shakes gave Mickey the added edge to really launch those traps into the water.

From a sitting position, for balance, Mickey's creotene fed muscles pulled the main sail up in record time. And so we set sail on a beam reach (perpendicular to the wind). We didn't raise the genoa as we had enough wind for this crew. I look forward to the day when Deetz and I can get into some weather like that, but that day it was more than we were looking for. Water was crashing over the bow and the girls let out controlled screams when we keeled over from time to time.

After about 45 minutes we decided to head in as the crew wasn't having much fun and Mickey said he wasn't feeling that well. We motored to the first crab trap and Mickey did a truely stellar job balancing and grabbing the floating buoy as the bow rose and fell 5 feet with each wave. I left him there while I went back to slow down the motor so he could pull in the trap. When I turned around I found him sitting with one hand on the trap rope, one hand holding onto the boat, and leaning over slightly. BAGGLHHSHHHHEWWWW!!!!!!!! Projectile vomit of a yellow and multi-colored chunky consistency spewed into the water. This went on for awhile. The poor guy forgot what is old Salty Papy always told him, "never puke directly into the wind." Disgusting half digested salmon omelettes covered his $175 slightly stretchable jeans and Calvin Klein sneakers. The dire situation was fueled by the fact that for breakfast he had ordered TWO full orders to feed THE MACHINE. After he finished chumming I sent him back to the cockpit and I pulled up both traps which were both completely empty.